In The Right to Sex: Feminism in the Twenty-First Century, Amia Srinivasan invites us to examine our assumptions about feminism, sexuality, and power. Through a series of thought-provoking essays, she asks difficult questions that challenge the status quo, taking readers on a journey through complex themes such as desire, liberation, pornography, and the #MeToo movement. Here, we break down each essay, highlighting its core ideas and arguments.
The Conspiracy Against Men
In her essay “The Conspiracy Against Men,” Amia Srinivasan looks at how the #MeToo movement has changed our understanding of sexual harassment, consent, and accountability. But she raises an important point: has this movement become too focused on blaming individuals, instead of looking at the larger systems that allow abuse to happen? By addressing this question, Srinivasan challenges us to think about consent and power in new ways and encourages a shift from individual punishment to systemic change.
When we think about consent, it’s often simplified to a matter of saying “yes” or “no.” But Srinivasan argues that true consent is more complex. Consent happens within a web of power dynamics, expectations, and social pressures. When one person has more power—whether due to their status, wealth, or authority—their ability to influence the other person’s choices can blur the lines of consent.
- Example: Imagine a workplace where a supervisor asks a junior employee out on a date. The employee might feel pressured to say “yes” even if they don’t want to because they fear the consequences of saying “no.” In this case, the power imbalance affects the employee’s ability to make a truly free choice.
Srinivasan wants us to see that consent is not just about agreement; it’s also about the conditions under which people make choices. By understanding that power dynamics are always present, we can approach consent more thoughtfully and carefully.
Since the #MeToo movement began, many individuals have been held accountable for their actions. This has brought justice in some cases, but Srinivasan questions whether focusing on individuals is enough to prevent future abuse. She points out that if we only focus on punishing specific people, we might overlook the systems that allow abuse to happen in the first place.
- Example: In many industries, like entertainment or tech, there are power structures that make it easy for people in authority to abuse their power. If we only remove one abusive person, another might step into their place because the structure itself hasn’t changed.
Srinivasan suggests that true change requires looking at how workplaces, schools, and other institutions are set up. Are there clear policies and protections in place? Are people taught about consent, power, and boundaries? By focusing on changing these systems, we can create a safer environment that doesn’t rely on individuals always making the right choices.
While holding individuals accountable is necessary, Srinivasan argues that we should also think about collective responsibility. This means looking at how societal norms, gender roles, and cultural attitudes contribute to abuse. For example, traditional ideas about masculinity often pressure men to be dominant, which can contribute to harmful behaviors. Addressing these broader cultural norms can help us prevent issues before they start.
- Example: In some cultures, men are taught that they must “win” a partner by being persistent or assertive. While this behavior might seem harmless, it can create a foundation for ignoring boundaries and disrespecting consent.
By moving beyond just blaming individuals, Srinivasan suggests we take collective responsibility for changing these harmful norms. This means talking about consent, teaching about healthy relationships, and promoting respect in all aspects of life.
The Right to Sex
In the essay “The Right to Sex,” Amia Srinivasan tackles a controversial topic: sexual entitlement and desire. She questions the idea that people have a “right” to sex or to be found desirable. While desire might feel like a purely personal matter, Srinivasan argues that it’s deeply influenced by social biases like racism, ableism, and body standards. This essay invites us to rethink where our desires come from and challenges us to question why certain people or traits are seen as more attractive than others.
Most people think of desire as an individual preference—something that comes naturally, without outside influence. But Srinivasan argues that desire is rarely “just personal.” Social and cultural forces shape what we find attractive or desirable. Media, stereotypes, and even history affect who is seen as desirable and who is left out.
- Example: In many societies, people with certain body types, races, or abilities are often viewed as more attractive. This isn’t because of individual choices alone; it’s the result of years of media representation and cultural conditioning that define beauty and desirability in narrow terms.
Srinivasan points out that understanding how society shapes desire can be uncomfortable because it reveals that our “preferences” may not be as free from bias as we think. By acknowledging this, we open the door to questioning these norms and seeing people beyond these restrictive categories.
Srinivasan also explores the dangerous idea of entitlement to sex. Some people believe they have a “right” to sexual or romantic attention, which can lead to frustration or resentment if they don’t receive it. This sense of entitlement can lead to harmful attitudes and behaviors, including misogyny, racism, and even violence. Srinivasan argues that framing sex as something we have a “right” to is not only unrealistic but harmful.
- Example: In online communities, some men feel angry at women who reject them, believing that they deserve romantic attention because they are “good” men. This entitlement turns desire into a demand, ignoring the autonomy and preferences of others.
This sense of entitlement, Srinivasan explains, is often rooted in societal messages that suggest some people are more deserving of love or sex than others. She emphasizes that sexual desire shouldn’t be about demanding attention; it should be about respect, choice, and mutual attraction.
One of the most powerful ideas in this essay is the concept of bias in attraction. Srinivasan explains that attraction is not immune to prejudice. For instance, people may subconsciously view certain races, body types, or abilities as less desirable. This isn’t necessarily due to personal prejudice, but because of social conditioning that affects what we consider attractive.
- Example: Studies show that people of certain races are often excluded from dating preferences on dating apps. This isn’t just a matter of personal choice; it reflects how racial biases are built into our ideas about attraction.
By acknowledging that bias shapes our desires, Srinivasan encourages readers to question these assumptions and think about how social conditioning affects their views. The goal isn’t to feel guilty about our preferences but to become aware of how society shapes them—and to challenge these biases where possible.
Srinivasan believes that desire could be different in a world that values everyone equally. Rather than seeing attraction as something that just “happens” to us, she suggests we think about it as something that can change as we change. By challenging societal norms around beauty and desirability, we can create a more inclusive view of attraction—one that respects everyone’s humanity.
- Example: Imagine a society where media and culture promote diverse body types, abilities, and backgrounds as beautiful. Over time, these representations could broaden our collective idea of attractiveness, making us more open to seeing beauty in different forms.
Srinivasan’s vision is one where we recognize that desire is shaped by society—and that we can push back against biases to create a fairer, more inclusive understanding of attraction.
Sexual Liberation?
In “Sexual Liberation?”, Amia Srinivasan explores the idea of sexual freedom. Today, many people believe that being “sexually liberated” means doing whatever you want, whenever you want. But Srinivasan questions whether this version of freedom is really as empowering as it seems. She points out that sexual liberation is often influenced by societal expectations, especially for women, and shaped by a culture that prioritizes profit over genuine freedom. This essay invites readers to think about what true sexual freedom means and to consider the pressures that even the most liberated people face.
Srinivasan explains that “sexual liberation” is often about following what society says is desirable or trendy rather than what feels right for each individual. Many people feel pressure to be adventurous or open in their sexuality to fit in with modern ideas of what it means to be free. But if this “freedom” is about living up to social expectations, is it really freedom?
- Example: A young woman might feel pressured to be sexually open or to experiment with casual relationships because it’s seen as part of being “empowered” or “modern.” Even if she doesn’t feel comfortable with this, she might go along to fit in.
Srinivasan encourages readers to question if they’re making choices because they truly want to or because they feel they have to. True liberation, she argues, should be about making choices that reflect who you are—not just doing what society expects.
Srinivasan points out that capitalism plays a huge role in defining what sexual freedom looks like. Media, advertising, and popular culture often promote a specific idea of “freedom” that aligns with profit. The more people buy into certain beauty standards or trends, the more industries profit. In this way, capitalism can turn sexuality into a commodity—something to be bought, sold, or used for financial gain.
- Example: Advertisements and media often promote products and services that promise to make people more attractive or desirable. The underlying message is that to be “free,” you need to look or act a certain way—and to achieve that, you need to buy certain products.
Srinivasan argues that when capitalism shapes our ideas of freedom, it creates pressure to conform to profitable standards of beauty and desirability. True freedom, she suggests, would mean separating our choices from what advertisers or industries promote as ideal
While sexual liberation is supposed to empower, Srinivasan points out that it often ends up placing more pressure on women to behave in ways that fit society’s idea of “liberated.” In trying to live up to these expectations, women are often expected to be sexually open and adventurous, regardless of what they personally want. Srinivasan questions whether this is truly empowering or if it’s just another way that society controls women.
- Example: The idea that women should be “sexually empowered” often translates to pressure to participate in casual sex or to ignore their own boundaries in order to appear “cool” or “open-minded.”
Srinivasan suggests that true empowerment means giving women the choice to do what they feel comfortable with, not what society expects. Whether that means exploring or setting boundaries, sexual freedom should be about what each individual genuinely wants, free from pressure to perform a certain way.
In the end, Srinivasan invites readers to imagine a different kind of sexual freedom—one that isn’t shaped by capitalism or by social expectations. True liberation would allow people to make choices without feeling pressured to fit into specific roles or live up to certain standards. It would mean respecting each person’s boundaries and preferences, whatever they may be.
- Example: In a society where true sexual freedom exists, people would feel comfortable choosing relationships or lifestyles that work for them, without fear of judgment. They wouldn’t feel pressured to act a certain way or to conform to ideas about what’s “empowering.”
Srinivasan’s vision of sexual liberation goes beyond simply having more choices. It’s about creating a culture that values everyone’s autonomy, respects personal boundaries, and doesn’t pressure people to fit into narrow ideas of freedom.
Talking to My Students About Porn
In her essay “Talking to My Students About Porn,” Amia Srinivasan delves into the complex topic of pornography and its effects on society, relationships, and individual perceptions of sex. Pornography is often seen as either empowering or degrading, but Srinivasan argues that it’s more complicated than that. She explores the ways in which porn influences our understanding of sex, power, and gender roles, and asks readers to think about its effects critically. This essay challenges us to see porn not as “good” or “bad” but as something that has a deep impact on our culture and our personal lives.
Srinivasan explains that porn shapes people’s expectations around sex, including what they think is “normal” or desirable in intimate relationships. When people, especially young viewers, consume porn, it can create unrealistic expectations about sex, bodies, and even emotions. These expectations can put pressure on people to act in ways that don’t necessarily match their own desires or boundaries.
- Example: Many people who watch porn may come to believe that certain acts or behaviors are more common or enjoyable than they actually are. This can lead to confusion or disappointment when real-life intimacy doesn’t look or feel the same as what’s shown on screen.
Srinivasan encourages readers to recognize that porn is a performance. It often doesn’t reflect real relationships or authentic intimacy, and understanding this can help people avoid unrealistic expectations in their own lives.
Srinivasan discusses how porn often portrays specific power dynamics, especially between men and women, that reinforce certain stereotypes. These dynamics can shape how viewers, especially young people, understand gender roles and power in sexual relationships. Srinivasan questions whether these portrayals encourage harmful or unrealistic ideas about dominance, submission, and consent.
- Example: Many mainstream porn videos portray men as dominant and women as submissive, which can reinforce traditional gender roles. If viewers take these portrayals as “normal” or desirable, they may develop expectations that can harm their own understanding of equality and mutual respect in relationships.
Srinivasan’s point is not to say that all power dynamics in porn are bad, but to encourage people to think critically about how these portrayals affect real-life relationships and expectations.
One of the big debates around porn is whether it’s empowering for the people involved, especially women. Srinivasan looks at both sides of this argument. On one hand, some see porn as a way for people to take control of their sexuality and express themselves. On the other hand, others argue that the porn industry can be exploitative, with performers often facing unsafe conditions or limited control over their work.
- Example: Some women in the porn industry feel empowered by their choice to work in porn, as it allows them to control how they express their sexuality. However, others report experiences of exploitation or pressure to perform acts they’re uncomfortable with.
Srinivasan argues that porn isn’t simply empowering or degrading—it can be both, depending on the individual experience and the conditions of the industry. She urges readers to recognize this complexity and to respect the diversity of experiences within the industry.
Srinivasan points out that porn can affect how people view their real-life relationships. If people rely on porn as their primary source of information about sex, it can shape how they interact with their partners, often in negative ways. She encourages open discussions about porn, especially with young people, to help them understand the difference between fantasy and reality.
- Example: A young person who watches porn without guidance might come to believe that certain behaviors are expected in any sexual relationship. Without conversations about consent, respect, and personal boundaries, these expectations can lead to misunderstandings or discomfort in real-life relationships.
By talking openly about porn, Srinivasan suggests that we can help people develop healthier attitudes about sex, consent, and relationships. She emphasizes the importance of education in helping people separate fantasy from reality.
Coda: On Not Sleeping With Your Students
In her final essay, “Coda: On Not Sleeping With Your Students,” Amia Srinivasan reflects on the ethics of relationships where there is a power imbalance, specifically focusing on professor-student relationships. This essay examines how authority and power can complicate consent, even between two adults. Srinivasan argues that setting boundaries in these relationships is essential to prevent exploitation, ensuring that both parties can make truly free choices. By exploring this issue, she encourages readers to think more deeply about what consent really means and why boundaries are important in relationships where power dynamics are at play.
One of the main points in this essay is that when one person holds significant power over another—like a professor over a student—true consent can be hard to achieve. Srinivasan explains that the person with less power might feel pressure to agree to things they wouldn’t otherwise choose because of the authority the other person holds. This makes consent more complicated than a simple “yes” or “no.”
- Example: A student might feel flattered by a professor’s attention, but they could also feel obligated to say “yes” out of fear that refusing might affect their academic standing or future opportunities.
Srinivasan suggests that in situations with power imbalances, setting boundaries is important to protect the freedom of choice for everyone involved. This doesn’t mean that the people involved don’t care for each other, but rather that the structure of authority affects their ability to make equal, unpressured choices.
Srinivasan argues that boundaries are essential in relationships where there’s a clear power difference. Boundaries help ensure that no one feels pressured to act against their own interests or comfort. In a professor-student relationship, for example, boundaries can prevent situations where the student feels pressured to reciprocate attention or affection, knowing that their academic progress is in the hands of the professor.
- Example: If a professor maintains a boundary of not engaging in romantic relationships with students, it protects the student’s autonomy. The student can then focus on their academic work without feeling they owe the professor anything beyond their academic performance.
Srinivasan’s emphasis on boundaries reminds us that autonomy isn’t just about freedom to choose; it’s also about freedom from pressure. Boundaries help create a fair environment where everyone’s choices are respected and protected from undue influence.
In any relationship where one person holds authority, there’s a risk of exploitation—whether intentional or not. Srinivasan points out that even well-meaning authority figures can unknowingly create situations where the other person feels compelled to agree with them. This doesn’t mean that every relationship with a power imbalance is exploitative, but it does mean that those in authority should be mindful of their influence.
- Example: A professor might genuinely care for a student, but even without any malicious intent, their position of power could create an unspoken expectation that the student should return the affection.
Srinivasan suggests that people in authority should take responsibility for maintaining boundaries to protect the people they interact with. This means being aware of how their influence might affect others’ choices and taking steps to avoid putting others in uncomfortable situations.
Finally, Srinivasan invites readers to think about what ethical relationships might look like when there is a power imbalance. She suggests that in these situations, respect, transparency, and boundaries are key to ensuring that all parties can make fair choices. This might mean avoiding certain types of relationships altogether or setting clear boundaries to ensure that both people feel safe and respected.
- Example: In the context of professor-student relationships, an ethical approach might mean that professors avoid any personal relationships with their students until after the student has graduated. This way, both parties can engage on equal terms without academic or professional power complicating the relationship.
Srinivasan’s vision is one where people in authority take steps to protect others’ autonomy, ensuring that power doesn’t lead to exploitation or pressure. This approach prioritizes respect and fairness, creating environments where people can interact freely without feeling obligated to meet unspoken expectations.
Conclusion
The Right to Sex: Feminism in the Twenty-First Century by Amia Srinivasan is a thought-provoking examination of some of the most challenging issues in modern feminism. Across its five essays, Srinivasan explores topics like consent, desire, power, and autonomy, revealing the ways these concepts are shaped by complex social, cultural, and economic forces. Her work encourages us to question assumptions and look beyond surface-level ideas of freedom, liberation, and empowerment.
In “The Conspiracy Against Men,” Srinivasan challenges us to move beyond individual blame and instead consider the systems that enable abuse. “The Right to Sex” explores how societal biases shape desire, urging us to examine how factors like racism, ableism, and body standards impact who is deemed desirable. “Sexual Liberation?” critiques the pressures that come with today’s ideas of sexual freedom, questioning if they truly serve individual autonomy or if they reinforce societal expectations. In “Talking to My Students About Porn,” she discusses the impact of pornography on our understanding of relationships, power, and intimacy. Finally, in “Coda: On Not Sleeping With Your Students,” Srinivasan reflects on the ethics of relationships where there’s a power imbalance, highlighting the importance of boundaries in safeguarding genuine consent and autonomy.
Together, these essays ask us to rethink feminism for the modern world. Srinivasan’s insights remind us that equality and respect aren’t just personal choices; they’re deeply connected to societal norms, cultural expectations, and power dynamics. By critically examining these structures, we can work toward a more inclusive, respectful understanding of sex, relationships, and individual choice. The Right to Sex doesn’t provide simple answers, but it opens a space for important questions and invites us to imagine a world where everyone has the freedom to make choices that reflect their authentic selves.
